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Today's Episode: Why did Rinoa fall in love with someone with all the emotional capacity of a brick?
(By "needs ta be restrained from da keyboard durin peaks of boredom" Zarla)
(Note: I am not responsible fer any mental damage cause by readin this fic.)


Zarla: Yes, I've decided that writin this script form would be easier. Cause I'm DARN LAZY.
Rinoa: Squall-chan...::sob:: I'm scared! ::sob whine:: I love you!
Squall: ...
Zarla: Our topic fer tanight is...::reads cuecard:: "Why did Rinoa fall in love with a brick?" What kinda stupid question is tha-

::cuts ta two podiums::

Alternate Announcer (Selphie, again): ::voice comes from speakers:: Yo yo! This is Selphie here...
Zarla: God, I want ta kill her already.
Selphie: ::sweatdrop:: ANYWAY, Today's topic is why Rinoa fell in love with Squall, featuring debaters Rinoa Heartilly and...Seifer...dang, I can't read his last name.
Zarla: ::looks innocent::
Seifer: You could at least get my name right.
Zarla: What? I don't know what yer talkin about.
Seifer: ::sighs, goes up to podium::
Rinoa: ::goes up, already near tears::
Seifer: ...::looks at her:: Why?
Rinoa: What?
Seifer: Why'd you fall in love with Brick-boy over there?
Squall: ::sitting in chair:: ... ::totally emotionless...motionless too actually::
Zell: Squall? Squall? ::waves hand in front of his face:: Squall? Hellooooo?
Irvine: ::pulls hat over eyes:: Leave em be, Zell-man. He's gone. Real gone. ::plays moody guitar::
Zell: Where'd you get that?
Irvine: Wouldn't you like to know. ::sings cowboy song::
Zell: Pretty! ::on verge of going hyper, as usual::
Rinoa: I LOVE Squall!
Seifer: ::looks hurt:: Yes, I KNOW that, I want to know WHY.
Rinoa: I love you with all my heart, Squall! ::holds arms out towards him:: Hold me!
Squall: ::doesn't move:: ...
Rinoa: ::sobs:: I love you! ::sobs more::
Seifer: This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. What has that jerk ever done for you, huh? He just sits there and says "..." or "whatever". He hasn't done anything worthwhile!
Rinoa: He saved me from death in space!
Seifer: That reminds me, you sure can hold your breath a long time.
Rinoa: ...cause I knew he was going to save me.
Seifer: Well, I know that Brick-boy did that under extreme reluctance, right?
Squall: ::doesn't move::
Seifer: In fact, I think you tried to get Irvine to do it!
Irvine: ::stops singing:: What?
Quistis: Seifer, your lies aren't even believable.
Seifer: Silence, Trepe! This isn't YOUR debate!
Quistis: Well it should be. She stole my man away from me.
Rinoa: He fell in love with ME! I didn't "steal" him away from you, he hated you anyway!
Quistis: That's a lie! A dirty black-hearted lie and you'll die for it, Rinoa!
::both turn to Squall::
Both: SQUALL!
Squall: ...
Seifer: Here comes the famous line.
Squall: ...whatever.
::Quistis and Rinoa fall over::
Selphie: Wow! This debate is heatin up! BOOY-
::Selphie explodes::
Zar: I can not STAND her sayin that stupid word one more time.
Raijin: Yo, I'm the new announcer, you know?
Fujin: ANNOUNCE.
Laguna: Ah, my son is so handsome, everyone falls in love with him! ::slaps Squall on the back::
Squall: ::falls to the ground with a metallic clattering noise::
Zell: Just like a statue! ::pokes him::
Squall: ...stop.
Irvine: Not QUITE a statue, Zell.
Zell: Ooo, look at my Squall impression! ...whatever!
Irvine: You're too happy to impersonate Squall.
Zell: WHATEVVVEEERRRRR.
Kiros: ::gives Laguna some coffee:: Here you go.
Laguna: Why, thank you! ::accidentally spills it on himself:: Oops.
Kiros: ::sighs:: You're the clumsiest person I know.
::Ward, who's been wandering around aimlessly for no reason in the back, trips and falls on the ground with an earthshaking thud::
Ward: ...!
Kiros: ::sweatdrop:: Except for Ward...
Seifer: LOVE ME, DARN IT!
Rinoa: NO!
Quistis: You little blue-dressed wuss! You cry all the time and never say anything important! Boo hoo hoo, Timber isn't free, boo hoo hoo, I'm a sorceress, waa waa waa...
Rinoa: And you think YOU're so great because YOU have a whip! You're just a wannabe dominatrix!
::Quistis and Rinoa start brawling across the floor::
Irvine: All the woman are fighting! ::plays some cowboy music:: La la, Music soothes the savage beast...
::Quistis and Rinoa throw a large set of encylopedias at him::
Irvine: ACK! ::ducks::
::encyclopedia's crash throw the wall::
Zell: You okay man?
Squall: ...
Zell: I wasn't talkin to YOU, Squall! Sheesh.
Squall: ...whatever.
Laguna: Come on, Sonny! Get up!
Zarla: Actually, I'm not SURE that Laguna's his dad. I'm just assuming.
Seifer: Great, this debate has entirely lost it's focus. On me.
Zarla: ::sweatdrop:: This debate wasn't about you, it was about Rinoa and Squall.
Seifer: Nooooo, it was about me.
Zell: YOU....STUPID IDIOT!
Seifer: Ooo, big words from the chicken punk.
Zell: GRAR! ::tries to attack him::
Irvine: ::holds him back:: Not now, Zell, not now.
Zell: WHY!?
Irvine: Because...::sings:: Time is on our side...tiiiimmme is on our side...
::this startles Zell so that he stops trying to kill Seifer::
Zell: What?
Squall: ...
Seifer: ::shrugs, leaving the two battling woman on stage::
Quistis: @#^#^!
Rinoa: @#%#^!
Seifer: ::pings Squalls head::
::faint dinging is heard::
Squall: ...stop that.
Seifer: HEE HEE! ::pings his ear::
::diiiinnnggg::
Squall: Stop that.
Seifer: HA HA! ::pings his nose::
::diiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnggggg::
Squall: ...
Zell: Uh oh, you got him mad!
Squall: ...whatever.
Irvine: ::Sweatdrop:: Well that was anticlimatic.
Seifer: Ha ha! I can do whatever I want and I bet you won't react! BRICK BRICK BRICK A HA HA HA!
Zell: ::giggles insanely:: I bet if you KISSed him he would KILL you!
Seifer: That's where you're wrong, Chicken-wuss! I can do whatever I want cause Squall is just a big iron statue! A big ugly scarred iron statue! He even dings when you hit him!
Squall: ...
Rinoa+Quistis: ::shouting obscenities at eachother while pulling the other's hair::
Seifer: And since THEY don't seem to care...
Zell: ::laughing so hard he falls over and knocks down an entire row of chairs::
Laguna: ! ::chairs knock him into the air somehow::
Kiros: I got you. ::catches him::
Laguna: ::caught:: ! ::pout:: You don't sound very worried.
Kiros: ::sweatdrop:: I wasn't.
Ward: ::knocks over a stage light:: ...!
Irvine: Zell, you okay?
Zell: Argh...can't...breathe...laughing...too....hard...
Irvine: ::gives Zell the heimlich: C'mon man, we can make it!
Zell: ::cough cough::
Seifer: ::kisses Squall::
::dinnnnnnggg::
Squall: ...
Seifer: HA! Seeeee? ...::think:: I bet I could even take his clothes off and he wouldn't do anything!
Squall: ...whatever.
Zell: ::starts laughing again::
Irvine: Stop that!
Zell: Argh...losing...blood...and...precious...oxygen...tooo...braiiiin...
Irvine: ::covers his mouth...with his own::
Zell: !
Raijin: Well, it did shut him up, y'know?
Fujin: INDEED.
Raijin: ...Seems like the debate is somewhat over, y'know?
Quistis: MY SQUALL!
Rinoa: MY SQUALL-CHAN!
Seifer: ::gets a little heart over his head, mumbles:: MY Squall-chan...::drags him away::
Squall: ...whatever.
Raijin: ...kinda, y'know.
Fujin: BORED.
Zell: ::gasps for air:: ACK ACK ACK ACK
Irvine: It worked, didn't it? You can breath now, right? At least, you would if you stopped shouting Ack.
Zell: ::takes deep breath:: *HAAAAAHHH* ...do it again!
Irvine: ::sweatdrop, eyes poing out::
Zell: EE HEE! ::hyper::
Laguna: ::still being carried:: Hey, it beats walking.
Kiros: Says the person who's being carried.
Laguna: Then why don't you put me down?
Kiros: ...uuuhhh...
Irvine: ::oblidges Zell::
Zell: WHEE HEE! ::kiss kiss::
Laguna: ::snuggles up to Kiros::
Kiros: ::falls over from blushing so hard::
Laguna: ACK! ::crashes into a bunch of chairs::
Zarla: ::laughing outrageously to herself:: Well, I believe this turned out well. What's our next topic?
::in the form of confetti comes floating down dozens of little pieces of paper, which then gather tagether ta form one piece::
Zarla: ::grabs it:: "When, how, and why did Vivi have children?"...I love Vivi...he's so cute...::swoons::
Ward: ::knocks over camera:: ...!
::static::
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